


ryan's heterosexual, cis male pony adventure

by kirkhuffmanbf



Category: Gatsbys American Dream (Band), Music RPF, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Real Person Fiction, Rock Music RPF
Genre: Alternate Reality, Blowjobs, Brain Damage, Bronies, Cisgender, Cishets, Coma, Dildos, Fucking Ew, Fucking Machines, Furries, Heterosexuality, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hate myself, Multi, Oral Sex, Ryan VW is sexually attracted to ponies, Ryan is just a crazy, Shit, Vore, Why Did I Write This?, Zoo pride~ /j, Zoophilia, beastiality, fr though, handjobs, hoofjobs??, horny horse fucking bastard, huge cocks, i'm sorry god, ponies, reddit, ryan if you ever find this i am so sorry /srs, straight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:14:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27751366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirkhuffmanbf/pseuds/kirkhuffmanbf
Summary: Ryan VW is a horse fucker. Rudy wants Ryan to stop stuffing ponies and use his dick for a better reason. I wrote this at 10:36 at night blasting the Wild Orchid Children, on my shitty, gay 3DS and I'm already starting to regret it. My wrist hurts. I want to masturbate but I can't.  Ryan, Rudy, if either of you find this, know that I mean no harm and I love you. All context can be found in KIRK HUFFMAN??? GAY???? NO!!!!!!
Relationships: Ryan Van Wieringen & Rudy Gajadhar, Ryan Van Wieringen/Twilight Sparkle





	1. Chapter 1

Ryan was fucking horny.

He was on his fifth episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and he was starting to get that funny feeling in his pants. In that area proudly hidden by a pair of pink boxers covered in his real wife and girlfriend, Twilight Sparkle's, face.

Ryan felt good. He scratched his balls with vigour, grabbing his sticky, crusty Twlight plushie. Ryan loved to play with the plushie. He loved to balance it on his cock, pretending it could suck him off. He swore it could. He wished it could at that given moment. He couldn't because his completely, totally heterosexual roommate, Rudy, was in the room with him. Rudy often looked down upon the guitarist in disgust. Rudy wasnt any different. He was a furry, and had spent money that had supposed to be for college on a full-blown fursuit, complete with a gloryhole. Rudy believed furries had more rights than bronies because furries were two-legged creatures and easier to get away with, while ponies, on 4 legs, were more animal and more illegal. Ryan inored these claims with their broken logic and would continue to draw his pony OC, Creampie Glitter, holding Twilight's hoof in marriage. 

Ryan, now fully erect, slipped off his undies from under the pony blanket, keeping one eye on the beautiful Twilight Sparkle on the telly, while also watching Rudy. Thankfully Rudy had his attention fixated to some furry vore and was not interested in Ryan's sexual frustration. 

Ryan relieved himself, blowing his load all over the purple horse plush. He felt good. He only felt good when his Twily was there to please him. 

He loved her so much.


	2. clash of the furry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rudy is sick of Ryan's horse fucking bullshit and decides to put an end to it.

Rudy had waited until Ryan was asleep, completely tucked into his bed with his ponh blanket and the rest of the plushies that weren't as in bad condition as the Twilight one.

Said purple horse was in Ryan's arm as he slept, the other arm under the sheets as he touched himself inappropriately in his sleep. Rudy, thinking fast, grabbed the nearest sticky pony doll and swapped Twilight with that one. Ryan fidgeted but didn't wake up, much to Rudy's relief. He clutched the purple whore in his arms, left the room, then went outside to the burn pile. He threw the cum-stained, drool-stained toy onto the pile, lit a fire, and sat back ad watched. The smell of burning semen wasn't a pleasant one, but it smelled like relief to him. Finally Ryan's days of horse shagging was over, at least until he asked his parents to lend him more money for another one. He owed his parents thousands of dollars for his pony fantasies. Rudy had not a doubt in his beastiality-ridden mind that Twilight would not re-enter his household for a while. And the next time she did, the bitch was paying rent, too.


	3. where is my wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan wakes up to an unpleasant surprise.

Ryan woke up with his hand gravitating to his body's natural center point, while his other and squeezed and kneaded the fur and stuffing of the flank of the pony he was cuddling. His eyelids fluttered open and he greeted who he thought was his equine wife next to him.

"Good morning, my princess..."

The pony did not respond, as it was only cloth and stuffing in the shape of a small horse. Ryan thought she had such a way with words.

Then Ryan cleared the morning bleariness from his burning, irritated eyes and saw he had not in fact been talking to the princess he loved oh so dearly. 

"Oh heck. I'm sorry, Pinkie, I'm not sure how we ended up this way. Not that you aren't beautiful, but you aren't Twilight, either.." He gave the pink toy a kiss on its head. Ryan did not swear. Swearing was not one of the Elements of Harmony.

He got up, without Twily in hand, and went on with his day. Rudy was fully suited in his furry outfit, fingering his asshole to furry inflation porn. Ryan would have joined in, but he strictly didn't finger anyone else's asshole except his Twily's. Speaking of Twily, where was she? He decided to ask Rudy once he was done licking his ass juices off his fingers.

"Rudy, where is my Twily?" Ryan asked.

Rudy cast his gaze to the brony. "She had errands for her princess friends she had to run. I don't know." Rudy had a very poor grasp on pony lore. 

"Oh, okay. Maybe she had to help her friends defeat some baddies. Such a noble woman. Rudy, you should find a woman like my Twily. I feel like you and Rainbow Dash would click," Ryan rambled. 

"No, thank you, Ryan. I don't swing towards ponies." Rudy's stare became bored.

"Oh, okay. Just know I'll support you every step of the way, Rudy. Fluttershy always says to be kind, you know." Ryan gave Rudy a kind, supporting smile. Rudy stuck his fingers back in his asshole. "I'm going to go have myself a pony snack," he finished, implying that he was very much so into vore. Rudy took no notice as the horse shagger went upstairs to fill his belly full of cloth and plush.


	4. why life?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan wonders where his Twily is. Is it obvious I'm getting tired? I think it is. I promise I don't get off to vore.

Ryan came back into the living room later on. He in fact had erotically feasted himself on the remaining plushies. His belly kept making noises that one's belly probably shouldn't be making. And not the hot kind, either. Ryan didn't care anyways. He just wanted to watch his dear wife on TV. 

A thought broke through his chronically aroused mind. What if he could go into the show as his OC, Creampie Glitter? That would be a dream come true. He wondered if he could actually do that. 

Excited, the guitarist grabbed his coloring book and crayons and colored as his digestive system desperately tried to pass cotton and cloth through. 

"Soon, Twilight. Soon we will be together."


	5. ryr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan manages to find a way into Equestria, part one.

The contraption was done. It was a huge dildo plugged onto a fuck machine sitting vertically. It worked as follows. One sits on the dildo, and switches on the machine. The machine moves so fast and so violently that it causes brain damage in the long run. Van Wieringen just believed it would rocket him to Equestria. In reality, he would injure himself so badly that he would eventually have to be placed in a medically induced coma. Ryan sat his tight little ass down on the dildo, clutching his Mane Six plushies (Minus Twilight), and his drawing of Creampie Glitter.

It was time.

Ryan flipped the switch on. The dildo started to violently fuck him up the ass. It very much so hurt. It felt good though. He knew that he would see his wife soon. He embraced the pain. The fuck machine went faster. Ryro started to see colors. Then he passed out from overstimulation.


	6. WHAT.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rudy finds Ryan in the basement.

There was an obnoxious noise downstairs. Rudy looked up from his furry porn for a moment. "Ryan, what are you doing?" No answer. Rudy decided to investigate.

Rudy went to the basement. He hadn't even went down one step when he saw Ryan lying on the floor next to a vertically sitting fuck machine that was going ham. Ryan seemed to be unconscious. Rudy noted the plushies and his drawing of his pony OC. He rolled his eyes, turned off the fuck machine, and dragged Van Wieringen up the stairs.

Ryan, however, was unaware of the events happening in the real world. He had successfully entered the world of Equestria. He, as Creampie Glitter, just hadn't woken up. Ryan succumbed to the alternate reality as Rudy drove him to the hospital for his organ damage and hitting his head on the cement floor.


	7. The fuckening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Creampie wakes up in Equestria.

Why did this get 61 hits in less than a week

* * *

Creampie Glitter woke up in the one and only Twilight Sparkle's bed. He knew this because he had a huuuuuuuuge boner, bigger than Ryan's would ever get. Creampie was a pony the color of dried cum. His legs faded out to white. He had a white mane and tail. He had sewer water green eyes like Ryan. He was an alicorn. Ryan liked alicorns because Twilight Sparkle was one and he liked anything relating to his purple equine wife. Creampie had a 10 inch horn, 5 times the length of Ryan's cock. 

Twilight Sparkle had no idea what she'd gotten into when she found the diarrhea yellow pony on her bed. He looked at her interestedly. Too interestedly. He rubbed at his horn and licked his lips. The thirsty furry in denial was horny. Twilight didn't seem to notice that. She was just curious why this strange stallion was in her home.

"Do I know you?" she asked. "I haven't seen you around these parts. And are you an alicorn...?" Creampie cleared his throat and introduced himself, "My name is Creampie Glitter. I'm visiting from, uh, Manehatten," he announced, saying of the first place he thought of. Van Wieringen wriggled in excitement. Twilight knew who he was. Though she did frown.

"Do you think it's polite to intrude on ponies' homes and rest in their beds, Mr. Creampie?" she asked accusingly, not getting the huge joke of Ryan's pony name. "And how did you become an alicorn?"

Creampie shrugged. "Excuse my mannerisms. And I was born this way. Are you being racist?" he teased, trying to flirt with her. Twilight didn't realize he was joking. She glared at him and pointed a hoof at him. 

"I'm not racist! I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, if you didn't know. I can't be racist. Mr. Glitter, sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"But we only just met!" Ryan whimpered. "You can't kick me out, Twilight!" Twilight lifted the cum colored pony with her magic and carried him out the door wordlessly. She slammed the door in his face. Creampie frowned. Then he smiled.

"That went well!" he said, not realizing he'd probably just made Twilight more mad at him than impressed with him. Then he trotted off to introduce himself to the rest of the Mane Six.


End file.
